thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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