Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize