I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
