Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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