the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD