end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died