You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
