FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?