Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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