I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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