You're my little dorito
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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