Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
