Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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