BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
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I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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