i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
