i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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