Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
