thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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