Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
