ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
