your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
