hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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