He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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