Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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