Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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