someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
