well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
