haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
