I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
