the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
