SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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