just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
