Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
