I want to stick my p in your. b.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize