I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
