We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
