Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Your penis caused this!
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