um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
