The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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