2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
