Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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