before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
