Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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