I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
