You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize