I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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