Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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