yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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