We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
