But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
