You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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