And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
