I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
