awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
