my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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