Four minutes until I can fart!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize