you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize