Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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