ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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