I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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