there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
