dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
