i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
